itsjusme2

Sometimes confusion...........................and you find yourself sitting and staring..
at a blank wall...........and can’t even figure how long you've been staring.............
hours that seem like minutes..........................................the fan’s still turning — playfully tossing moon beams across the dark ceiling.........................................
the gentle scents of flickering candles........


Sad.........a wall........................a blank wall.......................a blank mind...........


you’d at least think there would be a feeling of rest.........................
..................................a calm....................in this quiet solitude......

Instead............it’s rapid heart beats — pulsing in the head — thick translucency
instead of vision that brings awareness back............


with awareness comes thoughts.....................which brings on questions
which are followed by possibilities — but not by answers.......................
no, never by answers........................................................................
.........................................oh well

which are then followed by more confusions.........................................


which is then followed by...........................................................................
apprehensionshesitationsindecisionsskepticismssuspicionsuncertaintiesunset
tlednessmisgivingsnothingnessmisinterpretationsinhibitionsmistrustsemptines
smisunderstandingsconfusionslonelinessselfdoubtsterriblefeelingoflossandthe
ntearsandneverknowingorunderstandingwhyotherswoulddosuchthingstoanothe
rforapparentlynoreasonatallanddontandwonteventaketimetoletthemknowwhyo
rwhattheydidtocausesuchthingstohappen...........

spinning like the fan flickering
it’s distorted shadows on the wall — lacking all clarity of form..............
but it’s blades rhythmically striking the mind


and all that comes into your mind is ----------- “What ?”.............which is then.......
followed by more confusion confining....debilitating....unrelenting....unforgiving.....
....................................and then.....................................................................
blankness.........................................................................................blackness