itsjusme2

Talk about bringing the sun — you never saw anything shine so bright — these eyes just lit up..........there was never darkness — just shining, wonderful, warm light............and that was the beginning of you...................................and the beginning of me..........and there has never been anything like it since.........

And all the words that I could ever write — any words that have ever been written or will ever be written can never begin to tell what that one single moment is..........the birth of a child — the birth of you.........

A new life — not only your, but all who are touched by that one moment.......a moment that will become many moments...........and moment into memories............and memories that do forever and continue to give life and bring meaning — to life..........

And some think miracles don’t happen............

There is a wonderful transformation — and every hope and dream every wished.........and new ones — they come from everywhere re-invigorate life and it’s meaning and all it should be............
Because of you.........

Who would ever think that one moment — one life — could do so much...........and bring so much change..........and happiness and good and belief...........

And the flood gates open and every thought.........hope......wish .......dream wash over..........and they’re true and heart-felt...........

I will be the best dad ever.........
There is nothing I can’t do..........
And I’ll show this little one the world.........
Everything is so good........
And the specialness of each person........
Everything is good — just look.........the grass......the sky......the world and people.......
Work hard.........
Be kind..........
Be honest..........
Always trust.........
Always share.........
Think of others...........
Give freely...........and quietly
Speak honestly ..........
Embrace life..........
Share self...........
Keep your heart open.........
Be a good man (woman)........and see the goodness in others.........
We all have faults.......that’s okay..........
Forgiveness is a virtue..........
And love is the greatest gift...........

I can model all this — you’ll see how important it is...........
Because when a hand is open to give..........it is open to receive............
And oh what you will receive...........
Kings don’t have treasures that are so rich...........


And now my angel...........my son — the hardest thing I have ever had to do............the only thing in the entire world I never thought I would have to ever do............

And the even sadder thing — it’s in writing............because I can’t even bring myself to do it face to face.....................




I apologize...................................................................................................................................

I am so very sorry — I did everything wrong...........everything I told you isn’t true............

I don’t know where to go from here..........you believed me.............you worked so hard at these things — I don’t know............you seem to do all of these things................and it’s all wrong and I don’t know if they are too much a part of you — I don’t know if you can change........I pray it’s not too late because if it is...........I am so sorry............................I didn’t mean to cause you pain..........I don’t want your life to be filled with such...........


Did I lie to you — no !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!........never — please believe me..........with all my failings that is the one thing I don’t do..........I would never do that to you............I swear to God.........

I thought I was doing right..........I did believe I was teaching rightly..............but angel, it was just a simple soul who wanted to see this..........who wanted to believe these things...........who............
Wanted the world to be colored glass and rainbows and who, after continual self-brainwashing, unknowingly convinced himself that it was..............

But the trouble with rainbows is that they fade..........
And colored glass can be shattered by one stone...........

And I kept painting and gluing.............without even thinking because I had gotten myself to believe..........and then — I did it to you............

You Have Got To Stop ! — build the walls — put up the shields............put on armour of the strongest metal known — and Believe NO ONE..................or believe, but always be ready...........

People think only of selves...........
People will do anything to get what they want.........
People will be nice to you until you are of no use to them........
People don’t care what you have done with or for them once they are bored with you.......
People will placate you.......that way you’ll stop.........
People will say they’ll be there for you.........and when you need — they’re not there.......
you timed your emergency wrong.......sorry....
People will say the most wonderful things........
and then out of the blue.......they’ll walk by you without a glance...........without a word........
And in a blink — you’re invisible...........
That saying you’re a friend..........is when it’s convenient........
That saying I love you — is for that time only..........it’ll change any minute........depends on how the wind blows that day..............

I’ve got to stop..............I can’t keep going now.........it hurts too much.........I’m too scarred......
For you..........for what I thought was good and believed and wanted it to be for you..........

I will talk more as thoughts come — slower.........calmer..........so I can explain more clearly and completely..........

Please forgive me....................I never meant to do so wrong............

“Love means never having to say you’re sorry” — Bull Shit

I have never loved more............as much --- very very close --- but close only counts in horseshoes...........